"I always had a passion for flashing. Before I had it I closed my eyes and imagined."
Mattie dreamed big. She would sit on the concrete blocks her family used as steps outside their trailer home. She would close her eyes.
In summertime she dreamed of beaches. Palm trees, ten feet tall. Soft, thick sand that her feet sank into as she walked. An endless ocean in front of her, and the salty sweet smell that accompanied it.
In winter she dreamed of snow-capped wonderlands. She pictured herself at a ski lodge. The fresh smell of snow surrounding her. The startling bursts of wind. The invigorating rush as she skied downhill.
And on particularly bad days, Mattie dreamed about the home she would have. Luxurious carpet and ornate rugs in every room. Cathedral ceilings. A kitchen with two refrigerators. Jacuzzi bathtubs in every bathroom. A library and an office.
A walk-in closet. And, yes, Mattie imagined the clothes. Couture gowns. A wall of shoes. Silk and cashmere. Purses and totes in every size. An outfit for every occasion. Jewelry dripping in diamonds, rubies, emeralds.
Mattie had big dreams. She lived quietly, as her dreams and her determination grew together. She would sit on her concrete steps and imagine the adventures she would have. And then she would walk inside her trailer, sit at the tiny desktop in the kitchen, and make her dreams come true.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
if only for one night
"Your eyes say things I never hear from you."
Damon had sat across the room from Marisol everyday for the past eight months. She came into the cafeteria each day at 12:15. She got a tuna sandwich, some piece of fruit, and an apple juice. Everyday. And then she sat alone, eating her lunch and reading.
Damon would eat his lunch quickly so he could be done by the time she arrived. Then he would ogle her quietly around the edges of his newspaper.
Maybe it was the books she was reading, but Damon had become mesmerized by her face. Despite the monotony she manifested by her daily lunch routine, Marisol's eyes exposed another side of her. Sometimes they were bursting with adventure, sometimes they were brimming with intrigue, and others they were overcome with emotion.
Marisol would read and these dormant desires for adventure and romance would surface on her face. Damon would watch and share in these desires vicariously.
But his favorite part came five minutes before going back. Marisol would close the book, throw away her food stuff, and stand near the small window overlooking the parking lot. She would reflect what she just read. It was always then that Damon could see the longing on her face. The want for her life to be more. Damon's reflected the same look of longing; only he longed for Marisol to see him.
Damon had sat across the room from Marisol everyday for the past eight months. She came into the cafeteria each day at 12:15. She got a tuna sandwich, some piece of fruit, and an apple juice. Everyday. And then she sat alone, eating her lunch and reading.
Damon would eat his lunch quickly so he could be done by the time she arrived. Then he would ogle her quietly around the edges of his newspaper.
Maybe it was the books she was reading, but Damon had become mesmerized by her face. Despite the monotony she manifested by her daily lunch routine, Marisol's eyes exposed another side of her. Sometimes they were bursting with adventure, sometimes they were brimming with intrigue, and others they were overcome with emotion.
Marisol would read and these dormant desires for adventure and romance would surface on her face. Damon would watch and share in these desires vicariously.
But his favorite part came five minutes before going back. Marisol would close the book, throw away her food stuff, and stand near the small window overlooking the parking lot. She would reflect what she just read. It was always then that Damon could see the longing on her face. The want for her life to be more. Damon's reflected the same look of longing; only he longed for Marisol to see him.
Friday, May 15, 2009
cherish
"Cherish is the word I use to describe our love."
The people we love define us. Its as simple as that.
Our lives are shaped by the people we care about. The friends we talk to everyday about our love life, our bosses, the weather. The people who we depend on to brighten our days. The ones we sacrifice for to make sure they are okay. The people we love bring an priority and comfort.
Our character is built by the way we love. Love is about sacrifice. It is about adoration, kindness, honesty, loyalty, and compromise. Love strengthens us, makes able and willing to endure. And love humbles us. It makes us realize that this world is about more than we could ever fathom.
But love can be fleeting. The people we love can be gone quickly. Our capacity is constantly tested. And disappointment lingers everywhere. It is vital to express the love we feel, regardless of the return. Such expression elevates the soul and frees the spirit.
So tell your friends how important they are to you. Hug your family. Kiss your lover. Cherish them.
The people we love define us. Its as simple as that.
Our lives are shaped by the people we care about. The friends we talk to everyday about our love life, our bosses, the weather. The people who we depend on to brighten our days. The ones we sacrifice for to make sure they are okay. The people we love bring an priority and comfort.
Our character is built by the way we love. Love is about sacrifice. It is about adoration, kindness, honesty, loyalty, and compromise. Love strengthens us, makes able and willing to endure. And love humbles us. It makes us realize that this world is about more than we could ever fathom.
But love can be fleeting. The people we love can be gone quickly. Our capacity is constantly tested. And disappointment lingers everywhere. It is vital to express the love we feel, regardless of the return. Such expression elevates the soul and frees the spirit.
So tell your friends how important they are to you. Hug your family. Kiss your lover. Cherish them.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
won't back down
"When all is lost, all is left to gain."
She awoke suddenly, and just for a second thought it all was a dream. For the smallest, simplest, and happiest of moments. Then the reality came rushing back to Cassandra with such a vengeance she felt it would knock her over. And maybe it already had. The fire. The house was gone. That house that she had grown up in, that she had set up her business in, that she wanted to raise her kids in. Her daughter...
She looked over at her child, lying unconscious in her hospital bed. That fire was threatening to take the most precious thing from her life, and she didn't know how to fight it. Cassandra had been in the hospital for hours trying to figure out what she could do. How she could remedy this situation. But there was nothing. She wasn't particularly good at waiting, but that was her only option.
Cassandra would have to wait and see how badly the smoke had damaged her three-year old daughter's lungs. Cassandra would have to wait for the insurance company to fill out paperwork and submit reports before receiving compensation. And she would have to wait for an offer of employment.
She was imagining her whole life fall apart when her daughter woke up. She coughed and called out for Cassandra. Cassandra wrapped her tiny hand in hers and pushed the pager for the nurse. It took that gracious miracle for Cassandra to realize that the house and the job were important but not everything. Everything she needed to restart her life was in this room.
She awoke suddenly, and just for a second thought it all was a dream. For the smallest, simplest, and happiest of moments. Then the reality came rushing back to Cassandra with such a vengeance she felt it would knock her over. And maybe it already had. The fire. The house was gone. That house that she had grown up in, that she had set up her business in, that she wanted to raise her kids in. Her daughter...
She looked over at her child, lying unconscious in her hospital bed. That fire was threatening to take the most precious thing from her life, and she didn't know how to fight it. Cassandra had been in the hospital for hours trying to figure out what she could do. How she could remedy this situation. But there was nothing. She wasn't particularly good at waiting, but that was her only option.
Cassandra would have to wait and see how badly the smoke had damaged her three-year old daughter's lungs. Cassandra would have to wait for the insurance company to fill out paperwork and submit reports before receiving compensation. And she would have to wait for an offer of employment.
She was imagining her whole life fall apart when her daughter woke up. She coughed and called out for Cassandra. Cassandra wrapped her tiny hand in hers and pushed the pager for the nurse. It took that gracious miracle for Cassandra to realize that the house and the job were important but not everything. Everything she needed to restart her life was in this room.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
breathe
"Its the kind of ending you really don't want to see."
Rebecca remembered closing her eyes. It was painful enough to listen to this argument, let alone watch it unfold. Ben and Yvonne had been going at it for what seemed hours. And there she was stuck in the middle. Again.
The two had had such a fairy tale romance. Ben wooed Yvonne with flowers and romantic dates and love poems. Yvonne had been the perfect poised damsel, awaiting a Prince Charming rescue. So maybe they got swept up in the story. Maybe we all did.
Three years later, there were nothing but fights. Over how the groomer should cut the dogs hair. Over where the TV should be in the bedroom. Over how long it should take for them to eat dinner. Senseless arguments that elevated until the two were screaming.
Rebecca was always in the middle. Yvonne's best friend. Ben's little sister. They called her and she helplessly watched their relationship unravel.
She was so tired of the fighting. Resolutely she opened her eyes. Rebecca stepped in this time. She confronted them in the heat of their argument, and suggested this fight be the last fight. And they listened and followed her instruction.
But Rebecca hated to see the fairy tale end, as much for her own sake as theirs. She had found hope in Ben and Yvonne, a fulfillment of every little girl's dream that she didn't want to let go.
Rebecca remembered closing her eyes. It was painful enough to listen to this argument, let alone watch it unfold. Ben and Yvonne had been going at it for what seemed hours. And there she was stuck in the middle. Again.
The two had had such a fairy tale romance. Ben wooed Yvonne with flowers and romantic dates and love poems. Yvonne had been the perfect poised damsel, awaiting a Prince Charming rescue. So maybe they got swept up in the story. Maybe we all did.
Three years later, there were nothing but fights. Over how the groomer should cut the dogs hair. Over where the TV should be in the bedroom. Over how long it should take for them to eat dinner. Senseless arguments that elevated until the two were screaming.
Rebecca was always in the middle. Yvonne's best friend. Ben's little sister. They called her and she helplessly watched their relationship unravel.
She was so tired of the fighting. Resolutely she opened her eyes. Rebecca stepped in this time. She confronted them in the heat of their argument, and suggested this fight be the last fight. And they listened and followed her instruction.
But Rebecca hated to see the fairy tale end, as much for her own sake as theirs. She had found hope in Ben and Yvonne, a fulfillment of every little girl's dream that she didn't want to let go.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
beautiful soul
"I don't want another pretty face."
A palette for make-up
A disguise we wear
The proof that we are human
But it is just a surface
A painted on exterior
An uncontrolled part of existence
"I don't want just anyone to hold."
We are all warm
We all have arms to hold with
Legs to walk with
And a flavored reaction to arousal
We can hug and kiss back
"I don't want my love to go to waste."
The face and the body are shells
Inside there is an essence
A brain, a heart, a soul
The part that connects and attracts
A thing which inspires passion, kindness, fear, respect, adoration, and love
Something aching for its mate
A palette for make-up
A disguise we wear
The proof that we are human
But it is just a surface
A painted on exterior
An uncontrolled part of existence
"I don't want just anyone to hold."
We are all warm
We all have arms to hold with
Legs to walk with
And a flavored reaction to arousal
We can hug and kiss back
"I don't want my love to go to waste."
The face and the body are shells
Inside there is an essence
A brain, a heart, a soul
The part that connects and attracts
A thing which inspires passion, kindness, fear, respect, adoration, and love
Something aching for its mate
Monday, May 4, 2009
i'm your angel
"No rivers too wide for you to make it across. All you have to do is believe it when you pray."
I imagine he stood there for a moment. Not a moment of hesitation or disbelief. But a moment of awe at what faith can reap. He was secure in his belief that he and his people had been carried out of Egypt by God, and he knew that if they believed, God would set them free. Yet still, he had to have stood there in amazement to see the fruits of faith. I believe he stopped for just a few moments as the sea parted and felt his heart soar. And I believe the people behind were more taken aback to see this man's immense faith deepen.
It is one thing to believe that a miracle can occur, and a whole other to watch it happen right in front of your eyes. Its what we all look for; some proof of God as glorious at the parting of the Red Sea. But miracles don't come in that size any longer. They manifest in the smallest moments. Non news-worthy reports.
People with faith still are the bearers of miracles. The people with the faith that life is worthy of fighting for with every breath and sinew. The people with faith in the goodness and decency of mankind. The people with the faith that their life is no better than any other man's life. The people with the faith to face their biggest fears.
So Moses got to see the Red Sea part. He walked between two walls of water. He saw what faith can do. And he told us about so that we would always remember too. Miracles happen all around us. Just maybe we're so busy looking for a sea to part that we can't see and appreciate the miracles we receive everyday.
I imagine he stood there for a moment. Not a moment of hesitation or disbelief. But a moment of awe at what faith can reap. He was secure in his belief that he and his people had been carried out of Egypt by God, and he knew that if they believed, God would set them free. Yet still, he had to have stood there in amazement to see the fruits of faith. I believe he stopped for just a few moments as the sea parted and felt his heart soar. And I believe the people behind were more taken aback to see this man's immense faith deepen.
It is one thing to believe that a miracle can occur, and a whole other to watch it happen right in front of your eyes. Its what we all look for; some proof of God as glorious at the parting of the Red Sea. But miracles don't come in that size any longer. They manifest in the smallest moments. Non news-worthy reports.
People with faith still are the bearers of miracles. The people with the faith that life is worthy of fighting for with every breath and sinew. The people with faith in the goodness and decency of mankind. The people with the faith that their life is no better than any other man's life. The people with the faith to face their biggest fears.
So Moses got to see the Red Sea part. He walked between two walls of water. He saw what faith can do. And he told us about so that we would always remember too. Miracles happen all around us. Just maybe we're so busy looking for a sea to part that we can't see and appreciate the miracles we receive everyday.
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