"She said, 'I don't know if I've ever been really loved by a hand that's touched me.'"
It was amazing that she stood there. That she existed the way she did, in that very moment, with that mind and that hair and those hands.
She stood there against that barbed wire fence and bore her soul. From those doe eyes and well-formed lips, she gave a story of tears. The men that forgot her, the women that ignored her. The way she had lived her whole life and couldn't imagine love.
This from the woman that must have been born to bring passion. From the person God seemed to have granted every gift.
I wanted to touch her. So that maybe she would feel. Wanted to hold her hand tightly, so that she could understand. I wanted her. And there was nothing greater I could imagine, nothing more I could want.
But I was young. So I just listened and wondered how she could not know.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
girls, girls, girls
"An appetite for destruction but I scrape the plate."
I am James. And I know what you're wondering. Why is this sweet, humble, handsome, intelligent man standing outside this apartment building surrounded by overpriced clothes. Well, those are my clothes. And that building is where I evidently don't live anymore.
No this isn't the story of an eviction victim. This is the story of a man and more than one woman. (Which of course means I automatically lose.)
First there was Jessie. A yoga instructor that loves rock music and hockey. Definitely a keeper. So I kept her for three years. We had this great laid back relationship. She trusted me and I did whatever I want.
Make that whoever I want. Amy the perky co-ed. Leigh the budding writer. Nora the tattoo artist. And the latest lady, the cause of my inevitable downfall, Madison the tourist. Yes, she was only in town for the weekend and I would have never suspected that she would be the one. The one to walk into Jessie's studio and gush about the night with the sexy local named James.
Hold your horses. I can feel the judgment, and I don't appreciate it. I love Jessie. I have pretty much since the moment I saw her. I love her in that corny watch her sleep way. But... well... its just against my nature to be so monogamous. And who am I to fight nature.
I'll think about doing better next time, but I won't make any promises.
I am James. And I know what you're wondering. Why is this sweet, humble, handsome, intelligent man standing outside this apartment building surrounded by overpriced clothes. Well, those are my clothes. And that building is where I evidently don't live anymore.
No this isn't the story of an eviction victim. This is the story of a man and more than one woman. (Which of course means I automatically lose.)
First there was Jessie. A yoga instructor that loves rock music and hockey. Definitely a keeper. So I kept her for three years. We had this great laid back relationship. She trusted me and I did whatever I want.
Make that whoever I want. Amy the perky co-ed. Leigh the budding writer. Nora the tattoo artist. And the latest lady, the cause of my inevitable downfall, Madison the tourist. Yes, she was only in town for the weekend and I would have never suspected that she would be the one. The one to walk into Jessie's studio and gush about the night with the sexy local named James.
Hold your horses. I can feel the judgment, and I don't appreciate it. I love Jessie. I have pretty much since the moment I saw her. I love her in that corny watch her sleep way. But... well... its just against my nature to be so monogamous. And who am I to fight nature.
I'll think about doing better next time, but I won't make any promises.
Monday, July 13, 2009
dreaming with a broken heart
"Was she really here?"
She left this smell. Something floral, probably from her lotion. It clung to the pillows. That smell that used to be annoying. That he used to hassle her about. Now he hung tightly to the pillows. He found himself searching the couch, the closet, the bathroom, hoping that a trace of the smell still existed.
But he always found solace in the pillows. He would lay down in the bed. On his side. He would curl up next to one of the pillows, close his eyes, and see her. Curled up on the bed with a magazine. Putting on make-up in the mirror. Changing her clothes seven times before picking an outfit. And then changing again.
And he would open his eyes sometimes fully expecting to see her right where he had imagined. Her, in her long-legged, flashy smile glory. But she would be gone. And all that was left was the lingering smell on her pillow.
"Is she standing in my room?"
She left this smell. Something floral, probably from her lotion. It clung to the pillows. That smell that used to be annoying. That he used to hassle her about. Now he hung tightly to the pillows. He found himself searching the couch, the closet, the bathroom, hoping that a trace of the smell still existed.
But he always found solace in the pillows. He would lay down in the bed. On his side. He would curl up next to one of the pillows, close his eyes, and see her. Curled up on the bed with a magazine. Putting on make-up in the mirror. Changing her clothes seven times before picking an outfit. And then changing again.
And he would open his eyes sometimes fully expecting to see her right where he had imagined. Her, in her long-legged, flashy smile glory. But she would be gone. And all that was left was the lingering smell on her pillow.
"Is she standing in my room?"
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
i would die 4 u
"All I really need is to know that you believe."
Jacob walked home from work. If you had passed by him, maybe you would have found him rude for meandering down the middle of the sidewalk. Maybe you would have found him odd for wearing his trench coat on a dry June day. The truth was Jacob barely knew that he was walking and where he was headed. He just walked in a daze, fortunately towards home.
He didn't snap out of his daze until the box he was carrying slipped from his loose grip and landed with a thud on the sidewalk. As he stooped to pick up the box, he saw a man on a bench beside the bus stop staring at him. The man offered Jacob a seat beside him on the bench which Jacob gladly accepted.
Without much prompting, Jacob somberly relayed the details of his day to the stranger. He had been laid off today from the company he had spent the past decade working for. He had started ( the company when it was still a fledgling local business. Now it was a global corporation, and he was expendable.
The stranger had listened patiently and sympathetically, but now rose and stood in front of Jacob. He said nothing about Jacob's day, but simply asked if Jacob knew how to change a tire. Despite his confusion at this strange response, Jacob said yes and followed the stranger towards a car parked a few blocks away.
As Jacob came closer, he realized the car was really a limo. He looked at the stranger fully for the first time and realized by his uniform that he must be a driver. And that the man had a splint on his right index finger, which evidently had prevented him from changing the tire himself.
Jacob worked quickly and had the tire changed in less than 20 minutes. As the stranger thanked Jacob, the rear left door slowly opened. The driver quickly introduced Jacob to his boss and explained how Jacob had just volunteered to help as he walked by. The boss was grateful, and offered Jacob a ride to his house. Exhausted by emotion and the tire change, Jacob gratefully accepted the ride.
In that ten minute trip, the two had quite a conversation about business. The boss was thoroughly impressed at Jacob's knowledge of marketing, public relations, and the dynamics of starting a business. The boss gave him a business card and insisted that Jacob come by his office the next day.
Jacob got out of the car at his house, again thanked the driver and boss for the ride, and turned to walk up the driveway. He paused to look down at the business card. His hands went numb and his jaw dropped open. He was again drawn back to reality by the sound of the box hitting the pavement. He left the box there and sat down beside it. The card belonged to Nathan Barkley, the CEO of a Fortune 100 corporation.
Jacob walked home from work. If you had passed by him, maybe you would have found him rude for meandering down the middle of the sidewalk. Maybe you would have found him odd for wearing his trench coat on a dry June day. The truth was Jacob barely knew that he was walking and where he was headed. He just walked in a daze, fortunately towards home.
He didn't snap out of his daze until the box he was carrying slipped from his loose grip and landed with a thud on the sidewalk. As he stooped to pick up the box, he saw a man on a bench beside the bus stop staring at him. The man offered Jacob a seat beside him on the bench which Jacob gladly accepted.
Without much prompting, Jacob somberly relayed the details of his day to the stranger. He had been laid off today from the company he had spent the past decade working for. He had started ( the company when it was still a fledgling local business. Now it was a global corporation, and he was expendable.
The stranger had listened patiently and sympathetically, but now rose and stood in front of Jacob. He said nothing about Jacob's day, but simply asked if Jacob knew how to change a tire. Despite his confusion at this strange response, Jacob said yes and followed the stranger towards a car parked a few blocks away.
As Jacob came closer, he realized the car was really a limo. He looked at the stranger fully for the first time and realized by his uniform that he must be a driver. And that the man had a splint on his right index finger, which evidently had prevented him from changing the tire himself.
Jacob worked quickly and had the tire changed in less than 20 minutes. As the stranger thanked Jacob, the rear left door slowly opened. The driver quickly introduced Jacob to his boss and explained how Jacob had just volunteered to help as he walked by. The boss was grateful, and offered Jacob a ride to his house. Exhausted by emotion and the tire change, Jacob gratefully accepted the ride.
In that ten minute trip, the two had quite a conversation about business. The boss was thoroughly impressed at Jacob's knowledge of marketing, public relations, and the dynamics of starting a business. The boss gave him a business card and insisted that Jacob come by his office the next day.
Jacob got out of the car at his house, again thanked the driver and boss for the ride, and turned to walk up the driveway. He paused to look down at the business card. His hands went numb and his jaw dropped open. He was again drawn back to reality by the sound of the box hitting the pavement. He left the box there and sat down beside it. The card belonged to Nathan Barkley, the CEO of a Fortune 100 corporation.
Monday, July 6, 2009
home
"I don't regret this life chose for me. But these places and these faces are getting old."
The last three months had been nothing short of a whirlwind. Anderson was convinced his recent success was based more on luck than actual talent. But he was dedicated to earning the generous promotion the magazine had given him.
Six months ago, Anderson was a photography intern at the nation's top geographic magazine. He traveled to China with his supervisor, and had quietly taken pictures of China's most beautiful landscapes at sunrise. He was shocked when the magazine chose to publish his photos over the supervisor. And even more surprised when he was promoted to staff photographer four weeks ago.
Anderson was traveling the world. He photographed fields of green. Snow-capped mountains. Majestic forests. Endless deserts. It was really quite a ride. A constant vacation.
But Anderson had become nostalgic. He missed the summer fun of baseball and bbqs. He missed driving, grabbing a movie or lunch with friends. It was almost funny because he had heard the staff talk about these same things that he was feeling. The nostalgia, the loneliness. And it had always seemed utterly bizarre to him. How could anyone not enjoy such a free and grand lifestyle.
Yet here he was, longing for a vacation from sunny beaches, gentle ski slopes, and natural wonders.
The last three months had been nothing short of a whirlwind. Anderson was convinced his recent success was based more on luck than actual talent. But he was dedicated to earning the generous promotion the magazine had given him.
Six months ago, Anderson was a photography intern at the nation's top geographic magazine. He traveled to China with his supervisor, and had quietly taken pictures of China's most beautiful landscapes at sunrise. He was shocked when the magazine chose to publish his photos over the supervisor. And even more surprised when he was promoted to staff photographer four weeks ago.
Anderson was traveling the world. He photographed fields of green. Snow-capped mountains. Majestic forests. Endless deserts. It was really quite a ride. A constant vacation.
But Anderson had become nostalgic. He missed the summer fun of baseball and bbqs. He missed driving, grabbing a movie or lunch with friends. It was almost funny because he had heard the staff talk about these same things that he was feeling. The nostalgia, the loneliness. And it had always seemed utterly bizarre to him. How could anyone not enjoy such a free and grand lifestyle.
Yet here he was, longing for a vacation from sunny beaches, gentle ski slopes, and natural wonders.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
starts with goodbye
"Getting there means leaving things behind. Sometimes life's so bittersweet."
She paused at the door. Although she wanted to, she didn't look back. In the back of her mind was the inane fear of a pillar of salt. So she opened that door and stepped out. When the door shut behind her, Mandy felt a panic rise in her. This horrific feeling that she was never coming back here. Which was just absurd. Of course she would be back for holidays, birthdays, and the like.
But Mandy couldn't fight the anxiety, and as much as she wanted to she couldn't really ignore it either. She made it to the car before the tears started coming. She brushed them aside fervently, backed out of the driveway, and began the four hour drive to New York City.
Her moment had come. An offer in a movie after four years of stupid commercials and low-paying plays. The joy of this new opportunity was strong and enough to keep her driving. But the loneliness set in immediately after leaving her childhood home. She was afraid the feeling would never really go away.
She paused at the door. Although she wanted to, she didn't look back. In the back of her mind was the inane fear of a pillar of salt. So she opened that door and stepped out. When the door shut behind her, Mandy felt a panic rise in her. This horrific feeling that she was never coming back here. Which was just absurd. Of course she would be back for holidays, birthdays, and the like.
But Mandy couldn't fight the anxiety, and as much as she wanted to she couldn't really ignore it either. She made it to the car before the tears started coming. She brushed them aside fervently, backed out of the driveway, and began the four hour drive to New York City.
Her moment had come. An offer in a movie after four years of stupid commercials and low-paying plays. The joy of this new opportunity was strong and enough to keep her driving. But the loneliness set in immediately after leaving her childhood home. She was afraid the feeling would never really go away.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
superwoman
"I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down and think that everything is okay."
Jeremy walked in the door of his apartment and immediately knew something was off. Random items were missing from the living room. A lamp, the ottoman, the dvd player. At first he thought they had been robbed. As he reached towards the telephone to call the police, he had a second, more cutting realization. The things that were missing were all Lisa's things.
He rushed into the bedroom and sure enough all her clothing, shoes, and jewelry were gone. He checked every drawer and every corner of the closet. She had even cleared out her clothes from the laundry basket. Lisa was gone. After three years, she was gone just like that.
Jeremy sat down heavily on the couch. He wanted to call her, to demand for her to come home. Or maybe to beg for her to return. Maybe both. But he knew Lisa well. Before he could call he needed to figure out what caused her to leave.
So he thought but nothing came to mind. After all things had been fine when he left three days ago for his cousin's wedding in Toronto. Lisa had wanted to come but couldn't get off work. So Jeremy was gone for three days. Three days without coincidence.
Days went by. Jeremy called Lisa and left numerous voice messages in vain. She never called back. Jeremy was reluctant to replace any of the items Lisa had left with under the increasingly unlikely hope that she would return.
About three weeks after Lisa left, Jeremy ran into his friend Phillip at the store. And Phillip asked two questions that cleared everything up. He wanted to know what Jeremy had gotten Lisa for her birthday and why he wasn't at the birthday party Lisa had planned three months in advance.
Jeremy walked in the door of his apartment and immediately knew something was off. Random items were missing from the living room. A lamp, the ottoman, the dvd player. At first he thought they had been robbed. As he reached towards the telephone to call the police, he had a second, more cutting realization. The things that were missing were all Lisa's things.
He rushed into the bedroom and sure enough all her clothing, shoes, and jewelry were gone. He checked every drawer and every corner of the closet. She had even cleared out her clothes from the laundry basket. Lisa was gone. After three years, she was gone just like that.
Jeremy sat down heavily on the couch. He wanted to call her, to demand for her to come home. Or maybe to beg for her to return. Maybe both. But he knew Lisa well. Before he could call he needed to figure out what caused her to leave.
So he thought but nothing came to mind. After all things had been fine when he left three days ago for his cousin's wedding in Toronto. Lisa had wanted to come but couldn't get off work. So Jeremy was gone for three days. Three days without coincidence.
Days went by. Jeremy called Lisa and left numerous voice messages in vain. She never called back. Jeremy was reluctant to replace any of the items Lisa had left with under the increasingly unlikely hope that she would return.
About three weeks after Lisa left, Jeremy ran into his friend Phillip at the store. And Phillip asked two questions that cleared everything up. He wanted to know what Jeremy had gotten Lisa for her birthday and why he wasn't at the birthday party Lisa had planned three months in advance.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)