"It's not the way I hoped or how I planned, but somehow its enough."
Her decision had been made. Janet had sat on the bed, staring into the bathroom for hours. She could see the test stick on the counter and knew what it indicated. She was pregnant.
It wasn't the right time. Janet was in her first year of an MBA program. It had been such a struggle to decide what she wanted to do with her life. Once she had realized she wanted to work in business and hopefully start her own, she had worked diligently to get into one of the best MBA programs in the country. And these first three months had been challenging and time consuming.
It wasn't the right guy. Walker was a classmate that she had been paired up with the first day of one of her classes. Their task had been to create a fake business from the ground up. After only two weeks working together, they became intimate. Walker wasn't even her type. It seemed more a hook-up of convenience and duress from all the stress than some irresistible love connection.
Janet had always dreamed of having children. She could imagine herself in a beautiful house. With a husband, two kids and a dog. But she wanted those things first. A husband, a house, a career, some financial security. Still she had made a decision. And once made, there was no room for regret or doubt.
Showing posts with label decisions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label decisions. Show all posts
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
buttons
"You been saying the right things all night long, but I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off."
He couldn't help but wondering if tonight of all nights was the night he would experience the bittersweet irony of love. Jonah had only gone out to a bar to hang out with his friends, have a couple of beers and talk sports. But he walked in the bar, saw Michelle, and simply could not leave.
And Michelle had talked to him. She smiled coyly, sat leisurely, looked him straight in the eye, and laughed with him. She flirted with him and although he knew it was the drinks influence, Jonah fell for it.
So here they were. How stupidly he had volunteered to take her home. She had clearly sobered up in the car. Her directions had become clearer and clearer during the 20 minute drive and she walked into her apartment with ease. So she was sobered. And she still wanted him.
Michelle sat beside him. She led the conversation into scandalous talk. She put her hand on his knee and pressed her body against his on the couch.
Yet Jonah resisted. He had imagined this situation dozens of time. Except it wasn't some bar fluke that led them to this moment; it was Michelle recognizing Jonah's adoration of her and reciprocating. There was real affection, not a lustful passion. Jonah wanted more than this temporary infatuation. He wanted her to look at him, see him, and still want him.
But the realization came with a rush that Michelle may never feel this way. Or that this could be his opportunity to show his feelings. Either way, this was not a moment he should let slip past. So he didn't.
He couldn't help but wondering if tonight of all nights was the night he would experience the bittersweet irony of love. Jonah had only gone out to a bar to hang out with his friends, have a couple of beers and talk sports. But he walked in the bar, saw Michelle, and simply could not leave.
And Michelle had talked to him. She smiled coyly, sat leisurely, looked him straight in the eye, and laughed with him. She flirted with him and although he knew it was the drinks influence, Jonah fell for it.
So here they were. How stupidly he had volunteered to take her home. She had clearly sobered up in the car. Her directions had become clearer and clearer during the 20 minute drive and she walked into her apartment with ease. So she was sobered. And she still wanted him.
Michelle sat beside him. She led the conversation into scandalous talk. She put her hand on his knee and pressed her body against his on the couch.
Yet Jonah resisted. He had imagined this situation dozens of time. Except it wasn't some bar fluke that led them to this moment; it was Michelle recognizing Jonah's adoration of her and reciprocating. There was real affection, not a lustful passion. Jonah wanted more than this temporary infatuation. He wanted her to look at him, see him, and still want him.
But the realization came with a rush that Michelle may never feel this way. Or that this could be his opportunity to show his feelings. Either way, this was not a moment he should let slip past. So he didn't.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
who can i run to
"As I stand here contemplating on the right thing to decide, will I take the wrong direction all my life?"
Here comes another dilemma. MJ sat heavily on the wooden bar stool in the kitchen. She laid her head an the countertop and found the cold granite to somehow be oddly comforting. But still her mind raced. MJ had a decision to make, and truth be told, she hated making decisions. She was terrified of being solely responsible for making the wrong choice. No scapegoats, no blame. Just her.
And she sat there on the stool with her head pressed to the countertop for a while, until the awkward position began to make her neck ache. MJ sat up with hesitation. She needed another distraction.
Ice cream will help. She grabbed a pint of Ben & Jerry's from the fridge and shuffled into the living room. MJ ate and she thought. Ms. Anthony was expecting her phone call any moment. She wrote down all the practical reasons why staying was the best option. Then she wrote down the one reason why taking advantage of this opportunity would be so amazing.
Finally, she reached for the phone. Ms. Anthony answered on the second ring. MJ confidently informed her that she would take the gig, and that it would only take her three days to formally withdraw from school and pack up her things. Some dreams are worth the risk, MJ thought assuredly as she hung up the phone. But really she was terrified of the choice she had just made.
Here comes another dilemma. MJ sat heavily on the wooden bar stool in the kitchen. She laid her head an the countertop and found the cold granite to somehow be oddly comforting. But still her mind raced. MJ had a decision to make, and truth be told, she hated making decisions. She was terrified of being solely responsible for making the wrong choice. No scapegoats, no blame. Just her.
And she sat there on the stool with her head pressed to the countertop for a while, until the awkward position began to make her neck ache. MJ sat up with hesitation. She needed another distraction.
Ice cream will help. She grabbed a pint of Ben & Jerry's from the fridge and shuffled into the living room. MJ ate and she thought. Ms. Anthony was expecting her phone call any moment. She wrote down all the practical reasons why staying was the best option. Then she wrote down the one reason why taking advantage of this opportunity would be so amazing.
Finally, she reached for the phone. Ms. Anthony answered on the second ring. MJ confidently informed her that she would take the gig, and that it would only take her three days to formally withdraw from school and pack up her things. Some dreams are worth the risk, MJ thought assuredly as she hung up the phone. But really she was terrified of the choice she had just made.
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