call my name

"I know its only been three hours but I love it when you call my name."

Temptation is
The thought of you
And me
Gripping sheets
Or headboards

Seduction is
The sweetest kiss
With roving hands

Connection is
Hearts pounding against each other
Intense rhythms
Sweet rides
Intimacy

Satisfaction is
A primal ecstasy
A loss of control
And the sweet euphoria

Addiction is
Opening my eyes
Wanting more
Now

mosh

"Let me simplify the rhyme just to amplify the noise."

Becoming music without words and thought. Now I'm from the South, so I enjoy a good beat. And that's great for the club scene. But in my car and in my home, it doesn't do much for me. Remember the days of rap that spoke the voiceless blacks in the projects. Or the music that came with a strong political purpose.

There are folks who don't believe in rap because all they hear is the noise. But maybe they forget about the numerous rock and bubblegum pop songs that are nothing but sound without real lyrics.

There are folks who've given up on rap because all they hear is the noise. I would challenge both to respect the ability to flow in Jay-Z and Lil' Wayne. To see evolution in Kanye and Lupe. To recall the thoughtful lyrics of Common and Talib. To embrace the diversity of Eminem and M.I.A. To acknowledge growth by T.I. and Jeezy. Not to mention the dozens of artists rarely seen or heard by the masses but inspire the superstars we know.

This is rap music. It is alive. It is beautiful. It is complex. And true fans want the rhymes and can live without the noise.

my time has come

"Its okay. Be afraid. Its alright."

They could hear the guns coming. In fact they had heard them from at least two miles away. And they had almost gotten used to the sound, had let it slip into their subconcious so that it seemed as natural as hearing crickets chirp or rain fall. Then another sound came which stirred them all. The screams. The sound of men screaming in terror,in pain, in defeat. The enemy was close, with Death riding their coattails. They began to cower in the trench. Their hands trembled, their hearts raced. The fatigue of their five day journey, building the trench, and laying in it awake for fifteen hours suddenly settled in. They were terrified of what was approaching.

"You just take that fear, turn into your strength."

Then one man looked at his comrade and saw the fear in his eyes. He reached out and grabbed his arm. And that man did the same for the next. The chain continued until they were all connected, anchored by one man whose fear was overcome by his sense of duty to his fellow man. They knew then that this was why they came. To serve, protect, and, if need be, sacrifice. They turned towards the sound of the gunfire. They steadied their rifles. They lay quiet and still, until the enemy was nearly standing atop them. And they fought because they wanted to live but were prepared to die.

when your life was low

"Although I never hear from you still its nice to know you used to love me so when your life was low."

I have always been the type to walk away. I have these great friends, and then I leave and we barely communicate again. I have these wonderful connections with family members, and then neglect to keep in contact. And I'll have the best intentions in mind... Despite how it may seem, I never forget. Those people and the moments we shared are the memories I cling to, that help me understand who I am and who I want to be. They are my foundation. And they are a constant reminder that home is where you make it, that love exists everywhere and anywhere you seek it, and that I have been so blessed in my life.

To quietly and confidently love and care for someone that needs it is a choice. To do so and ask for nothing in return is an amazing gift. I have received such gifts and will give the same willingly.

"Always remember my friend: The world will change again and you may have to come back through everywhere you've been."

flying without wings

"Impossible as they may seem, you've got to fight for every dream because who's to know which one you let go would have made you complete."

Lanie never had a camera growing up. Either her family couldn't afford it or they just didn't believe it a worthy investment. Lanie was a work study student in college, and she couldn't spare the money to buy the camera necessary to take Photography as an elective.

At age 22, working as an entry-level researcher at an energy thinktank, Lanie bought her first camera. It wasn't flashy or particularly high-tech. It was like Lanie. Practical, safe, reliable.

Within five years, Lanie had become one of the most sought-after photographers on the East Coast. She no longer worked for her think tank; she worked for herself. She owned a series of cameras, ranging in size and capacity. She took amazing pictures of everything. People. Scenery. Animals. Fruit. Flowers.
And she was unbelievably content. She relished in her profession, and that contentment spread into her personal life.

Lanie always had vision. As a child, she could see the perfect arch in a bird's flight. She knew which angle best showcased a person's face. She understood the beauty of a petal falling from a rose. She locked a thousand of these images in her mind as she grew up. Her unique photo album.

And the first chance she had, she took her chance to make her lifelong passion her livelihood.

where is your heart

"And I don't expect for the world to move underneath me, but for God's sake could you try"

"I don't know how to make him care more." Its the thought she has every morning when she wakes up. Beside her lies this man. A man who had promised to love, protect, and honor her. Admittedly, she felt protected; sometimes, she even felt honored. But God where was the love? He told her he loved her at least twice a day so that means that he must... Right??.. But she can't feel it. She can't see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice, feel it in his touch. He doesn't act like a man in love. But is she silly waiting for her own husband to sweep her off her feet, to take her breath away, and all those other cliche moments that the girls on tv get.

When she asks me, I'll tell her that every girl wants a man that tries to make their life more beautiful. And she should not compromise.

lions, tigers, and bears

"Just 'cause I love you and you love me, it doesn't mean that we are meant to be."

Love. It sounds simple. Two people meet, fall madly in love and get married. However nothing could be more difficult. And the love isn't enough.

Love alone cannot sustain a marriage, or a relationship. Things occur that cannot be forgiven. Goals and ambition differ. Anxiety or lust force the relationship too fast. There are a million ways.

Love is not enough. Ask anyone who has been divorced. Ask the ones that broke up with their high school sweethearts. Ask anyone whose been cheated on. Love was there, and could still be there, but relying solely on that let them down.

the impossible dream

"To be willing to march into hell for that heavenly cause."

Into the angry mouths of dogs
Into an endless ocean
Into the hands of a betrayer
Into her counselor's office

For each person to have the right to be a person
For a chance to be free
For us to get to heaven
For her brother to be saved from the beatings at home

hold me now

"You're not like man. You understand me."

Its good that He knows. It comforts me. Like we have a special secret, and the secret is me. My personal best friend. He knows my first word and remembers my first breath. He loves me with my faults. He listens and gives silent advice. He stands by me when I stand alone. He teaches me morality in an unethical world. He is the shoulder I cry on. And he will hold my hand when I die.

closer

"I can taste her on my tongue. She's the sweetest taste of sin. The more I get the more I want."

A jezzebel trap
From across the room
Music is replaced by a racing heartbeat
Mesmerized and afraid to look away
Ready to do whatever it takes

She looks
He sees

i'm yours

"And it's our God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved."

We were created to be loved. We are made from love and saved by love. Its an uncontrollable part of humanity. We fall in love with people, pets, cars, clothes, food, etc. And we yearn for love. We were born to be doted on, listened to, worried about, and embraced. We have arms to hug with, lips to kiss with. Time adapts us to fit into each other. Never be afraid to stand out and asked to be loved. Its what we're meant to do.

chasing pavements

"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere?"

Block after block of concrete
Shades of gray blended beautifully
Even the imperfections don't stand out
In a comfort zone of pavement

But to look ahead
This sidewalk seems neverending
A path that knowingly leads nowhere
Block after block of concrete

Give up

bust your windows

"You broke my heart so I broke your car. You caused me pain so I did the same."

Its not about destruction. Its not about jealousy or rage. Its pain. The girls (and yes, sometimes guys) feel pain and react. Often irrationally. Its not always the car. It can be golf clubs, sneakers, music collections, whatever is cherished most.

Its pain. How dare you walk around when I can barely get out of bed? How can you date while I cry into my pillow at night? How do you walk away when I'm begging you to stay? Its unfair for one person to suffer alone. So they cause pain. It may not be the pain they feel but its pain they caused, even if fleeting. And at the breaking point any pain caused is a victory.

lesson learned

"Falling down ain't falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor."

The picture still looked the same. A happy couple, holding hands, beaming at each other. For a second she thought she should display it somewhere just because those two people looked so happy. But everything had changed now so she couldn't do that.

It had been nearly two months since he moved out. It was quiet. She didn't protest and he didn't explain. She just came home one day and found him packing his bags. He left a message on the answering machine the next day. She still hadn't listened to it. Instead, she moved on. She put away anything left of his or that reminded her of him. She put it in a box. She mailed it to his sister. She learned how to cook for one again. She never forgot to take out the trash. She went out with friends and laughed.

But today she couldn't ignore it. There he was staring her in the face. There they were. Happy. In love. She clutched this picture she found. She found it stuck in her favorite book but she knew he had put it there. Put it there for this exact moment. Almost in a daze she went to the den, to the answering machine.

As he talked, tears started rolling. She wanted to sit on the couch but those extra three feet seemed so far away. So she sunk down right there. Behind her couch, hands grasping desperately at the hardwood floors. There was nothing to hold onto and she cried.

the rose

"I say love it is a flower and you its only seed"

A seed

A nurtured seed
Doted on
Planted in fertile ground
Bathed in sunlight
Watered daily
Grown in a feld of flowers

A forgotten seed
Dropped along the way
Finding soil in a crevice
Withstanding all elements
Thirsty for water everyday
Alone

A seed
Has no choice but to grow

then you look at me

"And you say you see when you look at me the reason you love life so."

This is dedicated to my babies.

To Kait:
You are this amazing combination of me and Kiff. And its beautiful ansd scary all at the same time. You have my love of reading, which will always work in your favor. But you also have my tendency to get easily frustrated and my insecurity of self. Those things can paralyze you; I know cause they have often been obstacles in my life. I will do my best to help you there, to guide you however I can.

To T.J.:
You are, hands down, the sweetest little boy in the world. While I know you must grow up some, I hope you don't lose that quality. Keep your ability to be affectionate, your protective nature over your siblings. But also keep that spunk you have. You're my kissy face, my linebacker, and my rockstar all in one. You can bee all those things without compromise.

To TerBear:
What a fighter! From the moment you were born, you had a never back down attitude. It served you well then, it will serve you well being the baby bro of the aforementioned linebacker, and it will serve you well in the future when life tries to knock you down. And I hope my predictions are correct: that you are the one that will blaze his own path. That you will never be afraid to be an individual.

You three are the reasons I love my life, the reasons I work hard, the futures I strive to make better.

a song for you

"And if my words don't come together, listen to the melody 'cause my love is in there hiding."

When the love is strong and true, words are inadequate.

Sometimes when he just smiles. It almost seems to be a simple, unconscious reflex. He'll see me reading a book or tearing up during Grey's or primping in the mirror, and he smiles. Its a small smile, and so quick that you could miss it if you blinked. He smiles. I see pride, adoration, respect, understanding, trust, hope, appreciation. There is his love, strong and true, and it seems to just innately beam out from him. No words could ever say so much.

unconditional love

"My mission is to be more than just a rap musician."

We are multi-dimensional and if anyone exemplifies that its 2Pac. We love and hate. We are young and wise. We are angels and devils. It is human nature. We are complex creations that have conflicting notions and dreams. But we can be more than just one thing to one person. We can save the world and sin all ate the same time. I'm not saying its a good or bad thing, I'm just saying it is. The truth is that we are all flawed. But those flaws don't prevent us from being able to inspire the best of others, to understand and want more from life even if where the willpower is lacking to do more for your own life. The first step is speaking, acknowledging the human condition, stating your feeling on the subject. Stating the truth you see. Saying what you think and how you feel encourages others to do the same. To be unafraid to introduce their unique perspective to the world.

"The elevation of today's generation if I can make them listen."